Whole Life in the Ashtray

Moodymelodictrap,sparseminor-keypianoanddistantpadsoveraswung,knockingdrumgrooveandthicksub.Versesfeelconfessionalandclose-mic,withmalevocalshalf-rapped,half-sung;hookopensupwithstackedharmoniesandasimple,chantabletopline.Occasionalad-libsanddelayeddoublesemphasizekeyphrases,withalate-songliftfromfiltereddrumsandasubtlechoirtexture.

[Verse 1]
Yeah I deal with self-hate
Staring at a cracked phone face
Same kid from the staircase
Still stuck in the same place

Yeah my stupid image
People think they really get it
Crippin
Cheeffin
All day with it
Eyes red
Tryna blind my limits

Swoopii in the backseat faded
Heart broke open by Kate Pogue
Jaded
Whole squad laughing like we made it
But they never see the nights I hate it

[Chorus]
I been doing this my whole life
Burning up my lungs just to feel right (feel right)
Everybody talk like they know my fight
I don’t think you get it
I don’t think you get it

Ash on my jeans and my hope on E
Telling me to quit but it lives in me
If you never had to numb what you can’t rewrite
You don’t really get it
This my whole life

[Verse 2]
Mama say I’m stuck on pause
Grandma pray I’ll quit my flaws
Homies only hit my phone
When they tryna dodge they thoughts

Yeah I laugh it off
I clown
Then I’m riding home come-down
Scrolling through her pictures now
Heart in my throat
Wanna drown

Told Kate
“I’mma be alright”
Then I lied
Cried all night
I keep chasing that first high
While it keeps stealing my life

[Chorus]
I been doing this my whole life
Burning up my lungs just to feel right (feel right)
Everybody talk like they know my fight
I don’t think you get it
I don’t think you get it

Ash on my jeans and my hope on E
Telling me to quit but it lives in me
If you never had to numb what you can’t rewrite
You don’t really get it
This my whole life